So this is my first time writing and sharing my experiences with the world. I have been loving on the sidelines for the last 10 or 11 years--since my son was diagnosed with Autism. I figured it was time to dip my toes in to the water.
For most of my life I was a very social person--lots of friends, places to go and people to see. I had lots of friends and thrived in social situations. That all changed a little more than 10 years ago. I became so involved in my son's needs that I lost quite a bit of myself. I was always in search of the next thing to try--vitamin, therapy, gadget, school. I stopped playing Mah Jongg with my girlfriends. My husband and I stopped going on dates or out with friends.
When I became pregnant with our second child, I was determined to find out whether we were having a boy or a girl. When the ultrasound confirmed we were having a daughter, I cried and thanked God for not giving me more than I could handle. After all, around 90% of children with Autism are boys.
My daughter was born 4 years and 10 days after my son. Guess what? She has ADD, nonverbal learning disorder, sensory processing issues, and all the rest of the package (you parents of spectrum kids know what I mean). The second time around at least I knew what to expect.
With all that on my plate, not to mention a full-time job, I became even further removed. Juggling two kids with special needs, a husband, family and job became more than enough to fill my plate. It took me several years to even notice how out of touch we were with friends and family. It is unimaginable to the old me that it is so difficult just to chit chat with the people I consider my closest friends.
I feel like I am on the sidelines, the bench and my friends are actually playing the game. I am on the team, but as a water boy, not a player.
So here goes my big toe in to the water...
